The title of this article is a common question we ask when we meet someone new.

As such, we all answer it regularly.

Yet the answers I hear from people often make me cringe.

When you have an opportunity to talk about yourself do you downplay your accomplishments?

Or do you go in the other direction and talk, ad nauseam, about who you are, what you’ve done, and why you are the greatest person in the world?

There is a delicate balance in describing yourself to someone else.  Here’s how to do it effectively:

First:  Frame your accomplishments in a context based in their world.

To do this, compare your greatest success to something with which they are familiar.  Here’s an example:

“Thanks for asking, Joe.  Just like you, I’m known as a professional litigator.  All of us have cases we are most proud of.  One of mine is the case of Jones vs. Smith where my client was awarded a $2 million judgment. “

Next:   Point out a particular passion.

“In my personal time I work with the Autism Research Foundation.  I was drawn to it because of the impact this issue has had on my family. My kids mean everything to me and this is a way for me to give back to people who are looking to make life better for their family. ”

Finally: Wrap things up by asking the other person a question about them.

“Tell me Joe, how old are your kids?”

Note that I included only one business accomplishment and one area of personal passion. The reason is not because I think you should be humble.  It is because of the psychological principle of primacy.  Our brain will remember and associate people with the first thing we hear.  In an initial meeting, you want the other party to walk away remembering the big business impact ($2 million success) and the passion (helping kids with autism).

The tendency is for us to list a string of accomplishments to impress the other party.  This has a discounting effect on in the mind of the other person.  The human brain will unconsciously average all the things we have done and often blunt impact of our accomplishments.

So the next time someone asks you for information about yourself, prepare your initial response as outlined above.  Then watch how they introduce you to others.  You will notice that they use the exact same language you use and it will have a memorable impact.

If you want to maximize your impact when meeting someone, listen to the podcast I have highlighted by following the link below.

Click this link now:  How to Promote Yourself Without Looking Stupid

Last week a couple of kids showed up at my front door at dinnertime.  They looked like something from a modern version of Of Mice and Men.  Directly in front of me was a small kid with combed hair parted to the right, tucked-in school uniform shirt, and slacks with a sharp crease in the front.  At his side was a chubby kid with wild-man hair, mustard-stained uniform shirt that barely covered his belly, and pants with an Ironman patch on the thigh (presumably to cover a hole).

“Good afternoon sir.  My name is Ronald and this is Bernard.  (Big kid smiles sheepishly.) We’re here today selling chocolate bars to help raise money for our trip to Tallahassee.   I know other kids will be coming to your house with the same offer and I know it’s hard to say ‘yes’ to everyone.  But I want you to know that these candy bars were donated.  That means we don’t have to give any money to any company.  Any candy you buy will go directly to helping us pay for our trip.  I also want you to know that you can write a check, directly to my school (he hands me a card with the name of the school on it and his name – first and last and the chubby kid’s name – first and last) so you can be sure the money will be used for funding my trip or Bernard’s trip.”

I was stunned.  A great pitch from a kid in fourth grade.

“How much?” I asked.

That’s when I realized I hadn’t seen anything yet.

“That’s up to you sir.  The trip costs $130 per kid.  My parents are covering half of my trip and half of Bernard’s trip.  You see, Bernard is my cousin and he moved here from Georgia when his mom lost her job.  His dad drives a truck, so they moved in with us to save a little money during the winter.  We’ve sold 48 candy bars so far and most people give us $1 apiece.   But you can give us whatever you want.”

Not wanting to add 82 chocolate bars to my waistline, I flicked away the tear from my eye and bought one chocolate bar for $82.

Yes, I am a soft touch, but that’s not the point.

I share this anecdote with you to illustrate the power of a story.

Each day all of us have an opportunity to make an impression on someone just as Ronald made an impression on me.

When someone asks you why you do what you do, how do you answer?

Do you give them some mundane two sentence response or do you tell them a compelling version of a story that helps them FEEL the emotion you FELT when you decided to get into this profession?

If you don’t have a story that illustrates why you do what you do, tell them a story about your best day.   Tell them a story that demonstrates the effect you have on people with your work.

Stories are powerful because they put people into a state that makes them emotionally receptive to your message.

Anytime you ask for money you should start by telling a story.

Anytime you want to connect with an audience during a speech or with direct mail, you should tell a story.

Whenever you want to get people moving in a certain direction, you need to get them emotionally engaged with a story.

Yes, this is work.

Yes, you need to remember the details of the story and rehearse it a few times.

And yes, some people will not believe your story.

But that will not take away from its impact. And, as long as it’s true, and you tell it with passion, you will achieve the desired result.

Want to learn more about adding a story to a speech?

The link below is to a podcast on giving a great speech.  Listen to it today and create a compelling reaction tomorrow from your next audience.

 Seven Elements of a Great Business Speech