The Foundation of Long Lasting Business Success

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The Foundation of Long Lasting Business Success

Episode Summary

There is one ingredient that leads to long lasting success. That ingredient is healthy self-esteem.

But for some, this quality can be elusive.

You are either born with it or you’re not. Right?

Wrong.

You can improve your self-esteem and we show you how in this week’s Valtimax Podcast.

Below is the transcript to this week’s episode of the Valtimax Podcast:

The Foundation of Long Lasting Business Success

Hi there, Workplace Warriors. This is Dave Lorenzo, back again with you to discuss the most essential element to your business success. It doesn’t matter if you’re a doctor, a lawyer, a business owner, regardless of what you do for a living, high self-esteem is critical to your success. If you want to be the absolute best you can be, you have to have a self-image that enables you to overcome all adversity, enables you to propel yourself forward regardless of what life throws at you. I will tell you that self-esteem is something that you can create and you can strengthen over time regardless of who you are and what happens to you in your life.

Today, I’m going to give you some guidelines for helping you boost your self-esteem, helping you grow a healthy self-esteem and helping you keep your self-esteem healthy regardless of what happens to you throughout the course of your life. It’s really, really common for me to come across people who were at one time phenomenally successful and they’ve had some setbacks and now, they can’t seem to get back into the mode, back into the flow of things that were going on for them when they were successful.

They come to me and they sit down across my desk and they say to me, “Listen, if I could just get back to where I was, if I could just get a little bit of that magic I had back when I was making all this money, back when I was so successful, I would be on top of the world.” I look at them and I say to them, “Well, tell me what has changed about you personally, what has changed inside of you, what has changed in your mind, what has changed in your beliefs, what has changed in your thought process since you were that successful person?”

They look at me and they think to themselves, “Well, nothing has changed physically but my thought process has changed and the way I feel about myself has changed.” That, my friends, is self-esteem and that is what will lead you to phenomenal success or it will bring you down faster than a speeding bullet. Let’s talk about, let’s get some definitions for what self-esteem is and what self-confidence is, and then let’s focus on building and boosting your self-esteem, building and boosting your self-confidence.

First and foremost, self-esteem is your overall evaluation of your own self-worth. It’s your overall evaluation of your self-worth. It’s based on your beliefs about your value as a person and your emotional view of those beliefs. That’s what self-esteem is. Now, self-confidence on the other hand, is a demonstration, is a by-product but is a demonstration of those beliefs. Self-confidence is a measure of your beliefs about your own judgment, your own skills, and your own abilities. This includes the level of future performance you expect from yourself.

If you have high self-esteem and you suffer a setback, you can overcome that setback. You may take a hit in self-confidence but your self-confidence can come right back if you have high self-esteem. Now, your self-esteem can take a hit if you’ve suffered a devastating setback and you no longer believe you’re capable of the level of success you once had. I want you to think about that carefully for a moment. There are some people who can soar to all kinds of heights in the business world and then economic conditions or any type of market factors strike them and they’re wiped out completely, but in a very short period of time, sometimes as short as 1 year, 18 months, 2 or 5 years, they come roaring back and they’re successful once again. It’s where the expression ‘you can’t keep a good man down’ comes from.

Those people have high self-esteem. Their self-confidence may be shaken but their self-esteem propels them to a renewed level of self-confidence and they come right back. Other people succeed and then they’re crushed by market conditions and their self-esteem is devastated and they never ever come back.

What we’re going to help you with today is we’re going to help you take the self-esteem you have and put it on steroids, turbo-charge it so that regardless of what happens, you can always come back and you can push yourself with greater self-confidence to achieve new heights that you never thought possible. How do self-esteem and self-confidence go hand in hand? How do they work together? Well, to be a happy, healthy, fully functional person, you need both confidence, confident behavior and demeanor are a reflection of healthy self-esteem and will be evident in your level of assertiveness or confidence.

Regardless of what life throws at you, your confidence may be shaken but your self-esteem will be rock-solid and you can come right back. Let’s talk about some ways that you can boost your personal self-confidence and boost your self-esteem so that outwardly, you’re projecting success but inwardly, you feel successful. That’s the key. Inwardly, you feel successful.

Let’s start, first and foremost, with you own self-image, the mental picture you have for yourself. I want you to think of yourself in your most successful state and I want you to think of yourself that way all the time. You see, people who have low self-esteem, people who have low confidence in themselves, both aspects, always think of the negative.

I want you to picture yourself right now in your most successful state. Picture yourself when you achieve the greatest achievement of your career. I want you to realize that you are that person. That mental image, picture yourself on a day when everything went right. That’s who you really are. That’s who you are deep down inside. That mental picture of you is you and I want you to always keep that with you even in your darkest hour, even when something has happened that you never expected and things are going all kinds of crazy.

Think of yourself in the moment when you were the most successful and take a deep breath and allow yourself to feel the feeling of triumph you had in your most successful moment. That’s you, and that mental image is what you must carry around with you. Envision yourself with two possible pictures of you in your wallet. The first picture is of you in your most successful state. Perhaps, you’re wearing a business suit. Perhaps, you’re dressed in full professional attire and you’re receiving an award as the most successful person in your company, most successful person in your industry, whatever your most successful state was, remember that moment. Take a snapshot and that’s the picture I want you to carry around in your wallet.

Most people carry a picture around in their wallet of themselves at their worst, and I don’t want you to ever carry that picture around in your mind right now, the picture of you at your worst, I want you to mentally tear that picture up and throw it in a trashcan. The snapshot you’re carrying around is of you receiving the award, you closing the big deal, you cashing the big check, you triumphant with your family, with your friends, with those people who are most important to you.

Your mental picture of yourself should always be of you at the pinnacle of success in your career. As you become more and more successful, the picture changes to a more and more successful you. As you review the photos in this photo album of success, allow the feelings you felt to wash over you because those feelings will help propel you to more success.

I cannot tell you how important this is. When you have moments in your life where things just aren’t meeting your expectations, I want you to go back to this mental photo album and review these pictures of success. I want you to say to yourself, “That’s me. That’s who I really am.” I want you to feel the feelings you felt when you were that successful because that’s who you really are and that’s who you deserve to be in the future and that’s who you will be in the future. Your own self-image is critically important.

Now, if you want to really boost this confidence that you have in yourself, you take that feeling, that self-esteem that you have, that mental image that you have and you dress up in the clothing that makes you feel successful. Let’s say you’re going on a sales call or you’re giving a big presentation or you’re writing a critical article that you know could help boost your business, dress up in that clothing. To dress up in the clothing that’s similar to or identical to or the exact clothing if you still have it, when you receive that award when you close that deal, dress up in that clothing, relive those feelings and then give that big presentation, write that big article. It will help you get in the right mindset. Dressing for success, dressing to match the self-image of you when you were most successful will help you boost your confidence and it will help strengthen the confidence that you draw from yourself from within your self-esteem.

The critical element to boost your self-esteem that we just discussed is the mental image of being successful. The external element that can help boost your confidence is dressing like you were to match that image of success. Now, let’s say that you have not achieved that huge success yet. What I want you to do is I want you to have the mental image of the greatest success you’ve had in your life and I want you to carry that mental image around with you. If that mental image happens to be when you were in college and you were a world champion swimmer, let’s say, or you were in college and you were a college champion swimmer yet you want to succeed in the business world, then I want you to portray yourself, carry yourself in a manner that exudes the confidence of when you were that successful swimmer but dress like a successful person who you want to emulate in the business world.

Keep the feeling, use your self-esteem to keep feeling of success but dress appropriately for the image that you want to portray in the business world. The esteem, the self-esteem comes from within. The confidence and the image come from projecting an image of success in your activity in your area of focus. I cannot stress enough for you the mental image and how important it is and the second component of this is also critical. It’s the positive self-talk and positive thoughts. All too often, I meet with people who have negative thoughts going through their mind constantly. I want you to replace all those negative thoughts with positive ones.

If you’re looking at your bank account and you’re saying to yourself, “I don’t know how I’m going to meet payroll next month,” that’s a negative thought. A positive thought is, “I only have to close two deals to meet payroll next month. I only have to close two deals in order to achieve the success I desire next month.” Then you go out and you focus on people who you can close deals with so you can achieve payroll. There’s a big, big difference.

Worrying and keeping yourself up at night saying I’m never going to meet payroll is one thing. Thinking about how you’re going to meet payroll is something completely different. Here’s how the two thought processes affect your self-conscious. If you think to yourself, “I just have to close two deals this month and I will meet payroll,” your subconscious searches for ways to help you find the clients that will close those two deals. This is a proven scientific fact.

I meet with lawyers all the time who are preparing cases for trial, trial lawyers and they’ve reviewed the case documents and they’re trying to figure out how they’re going to present the case to the jury but they’re sure that they can make a compelling case if they can just align the fact pattern appropriately. They think about it. They think about it and then they take a break and perhaps they go to sleep and they wake up the next morning and the opening argument or the case preparation comes to them because their subconscious has worked proactively on it all night.

Well, if you take the exact opposite, if they thought to themselves I’m never going to be able to present this case to a jury in a way that they will believe, that’s what they would have worked on subconsciously during their break or subconsciously overnight and they would have sabotaged their possible success. Focusing on the positives, “I just need to close two deals in order to be successful this month. I need to find five new customers in order to achieve my goal for sales this month,” is a big, big difference and it has a huge impact on the way you feel about yourself. “I will close these two deals. I will find these two customers. I will be successful,” very different than thinking the other way around.

Positive self-talk in alignment with your positive self-image will definitely help you with your self-esteem. It will help you have the confidence you need to go out and do what you need to do. Now, let’s think about this for a moment. You have this positive self-image and this positive self-talk going for you. When you meet with customers, what do you think is going to happen? That confidence, that positivity is going to come through.

Conversely, if you think about it from the other direction, if you’re negative, that negativity is going to come through. This is why this is so important for folks who want to be successful regardless of their profession. You must have the positive self-talk and the positive self-image in order to be successful because the confidence is what comes through when you meet with your clients.

Now, let’s talk about self-awareness and your strengths. You should always put yourself in a position to lead with your strengths. Let’s say that you are a fantastic public speaker. You are a fantastic person at crafting words to motivate people into action yet you’re terrible at numbers. You’re terrible at math and you’re the kind of person that has to go out and close big business deals. What you should do is you should spend 99% of your time crafting the presentation, crafting the documents, wordsmithing everything you need in order to motivate and persuade people to be successful and you should support the process by getting someone who’s a fantastic numbers person to augment your words with the numbers.

If you try to do the numbers yourself, you’re going to struggle just to be adequate and this is a key way not only to deliver a presentation but to live your life and to grow your business. Identify areas of strength for you and leverage your strengths and find people who can help you support and bolster your areas of weakness. Now, you can’t ignore your weaknesses but focusing on your weaknesses will only allow you to get to the level of just being adequate, just being average and the emotional and physical energy that it will require for you to be average in the area of weakness will drain the life out of you.

Yet, areas of strength will allow you to effortlessly succeed and excel. Let me give you some examples. I am a very strategic person and I am a type of person who feels good when he’s active and when he’s out and working on something actively aggressively. What I do is I think through the situation and then I immediately take action and that makes me feel good about what I’m doing and it feeds itself. My self-esteem feeds my confidence and it allows me to be successful.

I’m terrible at numbers and I have very low empathy. What I need to do is I need to augment my training in successful public speaking, my training in successful strategy, successful strategic formulation. I need to bring somebody in to make sure that the numbers work for the strategy that I set. Then, once the numbers and the strategy work together, I know I can present it and I know I can take action and help my clients take action in being successful.

Now, when it comes to empathy, I’m not fantastic at reading the reactions of people in social situations. I have to put myself in a position to ask the right questions to get answers that will lead me to understand how people feel about what I’m saying and this is critically important because I know what my weaknesses are. I found ways to use my strengths to offset some of my weaknesses. Leveraging my strengths improves my self-esteem and it improves the level of confidence I have because I am very self-aware. I know what my strengths are.

What I encourage you to do right now is to make a list of all of your strengths and make a list of your weaknesses. Make a list of areas where you’re not as a strong and then for those things that the areas that you’re not strong either find people or processes to help you augment those areas of non-strength to help you bolster those areas of non-strength and spend all your time as much time as you possibly can. Focus on your strengths because that will help you improve your self-esteem. You will know what you are good at and you will be able to leverage it.

The next element of powerful self-esteem, growing your self-esteem is preparation. Anytime, you can spend more time preparing than actually delivering your business or your processes, you will be successful. Think about it. Football players practice five days during the week. They play one game on Sunday. Sports are the perfect metaphor for preparation and then delivering success. Football players prepare five times as much as they spend actually playing. If you are an entertainer, you spend hours and hours and hours, hundreds of hours rehearsing and then one hour perhaps delivering the actual performance. This is how you should spend your time in business.

If you are going to get up in front of a customer and deliver a presentation regardless of whether you get up in front of 50 customers a week or 5 customers a week, you should spend 5 to 10 times the amount of time preparing for that presentation as you spend delivering it. Why is that important? Preparation helped improve your confidence and if you want to boost your self-esteem, the internal mechanism to boost your confidence, your self-esteem, remember, is how you feel and your self-confidence is a demonstration of that feeling.

If you want to boost your self-esteem, be the kind of person who prepares meticulously for every encounter, who prepares meticulously for every contingency. Preparation helps boost your confidence and if you’re the kind of person who prepares all the time and you know your method of preparation is thorough, you will have the confidence you need to succeed.

All right, the next element is taking action. Taking action is critical. You can be decisive and take action and not get the results you want but being decisive and taking more action will help you achieve the results eventually. If you’re the kind of person that takes action always, you make a decision. This is really a two-part concept. Decisiveness and action are linked together. If you decide and then take action immediately and then decide and take action immediately and decide and take action immediately, what you’re doing is your self-correcting for when things don’t work out.

This is critically important. Become the kind of person who’s decisive and then takes action and then if that action is not appropriate or you need to make an adjustment, be decisive and take future action, further action. Then be decisive and take further action. If you have conditioned yourself to be a decisive person who takes action, you’re decisive and then you act on the decisions that you’ve made, you will have greater confidence in your ability to succeed because even if your decision is not 100% perfect, you will auto-correct to make sure your decision eventually will be the one that gets you to the point you want to go to.

You’re in the process of making a deal and you’re negotiating with someone and you’ve given up a key point in the negotiation and you’re concerned that you gave up too much. Perhaps you can decide to do something else and correct and recouped a little bit of what you’ve lost. Perhaps you can make another decision that will offset the decision that you just made as long as you take action on it. Critically important, be decisive and take action that will lead to future success and having a pattern of decisiveness and an action orientation over the long run will boost your self-esteem because you know that no matter what, you will decide and take action quickly and that will not only help you be successful but it will help you correct for when your decisions are less than 100% perfect.

Celebrating small victories is critically important. If you can close a smaller deal that will eventually lead to a big deal, celebrate that small deal and use that celebration to reinforce the feelings you have about yourself and your success. Celebrating small victories is critically important to gaining big victories over the long term. You should always have milestones that allow you to track how you’re progressing throughout the course of your career, throughout the course of your business because the small victories build upon themselves and they help boost your self-esteem.

Focusing on solutions, we talked about this at the outset. We talked about a positive mental image for yourself, focusing on solutions and we talked about focusing your mind on generating those solutions subconsciously so always focus on the positive. Always focus on your ability to solve the problem. Always point yourself in the direction of looking for the solution so that your subconscious can work on those solutions.

Then, finally, the last element in helping you boost your self-esteem is being grateful. I cannot stress enough how important this is. Many people who I have spoken with have different rituals they go through to remind themselves of how grateful they are. Prayer is a fantastic avenue for this. If you’re religious and you pray and you’re thankful for what you have, that’s an aspect of being grateful and it reinforces the positive. Many people do a ritual at the dinner table where they go around the table and they talk about what they were thankful or what they’re grateful for that day.

I encourage you to take stock each night before you go to bed and make a list mentally or even a physical list if you can of the things that you are grateful for, the things that happened during the course of the day. If you do this, you will find that you will reinforce the positive things that have happened to you and you will feel better about yourself and about the actions that we’ve taken.

That’s what I want to close this topic out with today because we’re almost out of time. The critical element in boosting self-confidence is to make sure you actually feel good about yourself and about your capabilities. I’m going to finish up exactly where I started with this topic. I want you to have that mental image of yourself when you were the most successful. I want you to review that image in your mind over and over again and I want you to allow the feelings of that success to wash over you and I want you to do this as often as you can because that’s the essence of self-esteem. You are that person. You are the person who was at that pinnacle of success regardless of where you are right now. Let those feelings wash over you and own the fact that you are the successful person you deserve to be.

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